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Britain’s Got Talent? Are You Sure? 03/06/2010

Posted by ssimpson340 in Television.
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You can almost see the dollar signs

The live semi-finals of Cowell’s-Cash-Cow Britain’s Got Talent have started. Have you been watching? Maybe I should refrain that question; are you clinically insane? If the answer is yes then you’re just like me; a dead-eyed moron who considers this entertainment. A moron who considers a man chopping wood entertainment. A moron who considers a man dressing up as Madonna entertainment (although there’s not much difference there ha ha ha…). We’ve now seen three bunch of hopeless hopefuls parade onto the stage and show us what they got and what they got is a bit underwhelming. Let’s take a looksee at our 6 already confirmed finalists.

Spellbound – Otherwise known as “the group that makes me want to cry about my own body”, but that’s a bit lengthy so they’re just known as “Spellbound”. Monday night’s winners of the public vote, Spellbound are an acrobatic troop who can stand on each other’s heads and fling 12 year olds around without anyone batting an eyelid.

Tobias Mead – One of those rarely seen dancing acts [/sarcasm]. Nothing we haven’t seen before, in fact, he was beaten to the punch by a 14 year old boy two years ago. Shame on you Tobias. He better pull something out of the bag for Saturday’s finals, otherwise he can kiss that title bye bye.

Tina and Chandi – Is it a sign of the apocalypse when a dog act sails through to the finals? Yes, doggie dancing act Tina (the owner) and Chandi (the infinitely smart dog) got through on the public vote, and it’s no wonder. The dog held an umbrella! Even some humans struggle to do that!

Connected – Who doesn’t love a fivesome of young teens? Oh right, almost everyone. These guys must have received a helluva lot of votes from the prepubescent teenage girl audience. Connected, pretty much always out of tune, got through to the finals with the judge’s vote. You can almost see the dollar signs in Cowell’s eyes.

Paul Burling – He pretty much made the real Harry Hill defunct. In fact, Paul is more like Harry than Harry is! I’m glad he strayed away from cartoon characters and moved on to real people (well, debatable when it comes to Phil Mitchell). He brought the house down and bagged his place in the finals. At least we have an ACTUAL variety act in this so called “variety” show.

Christopher Stone – Singer extraordinaire. Sang a stunning version of “The Impossible Dream”. I can’t hate this guy, he’s just too nice. I hate him for that…

So there we have our line up with just four more spaces left. Making a bet that at least one will be a singing act and another will be a dancing act. Ah, BGT is truly a variety show in the loosest sense…

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